Make no mistake about it: Embracing your truth and becoming the person you were meant to be is a war. You should be in a fighting mood. Not only are you opposing your own instinct to avoid the psychological pain involved with significant change, but you are opposing the instincts of others who may well […]
Okay . . . did that get your attention? I hope so. That was my goal. Because I want you to focus on what really matters in life. And the way you want your epitaph (the words describing you, after your death) to read might help you do just that. First, it’s worth noting what […]
Several years ago I evaluated a man in jail for assaulting a woman. It was a very violent assault—so violent that I asked him whether he had been trying to kill the woman. “No,” the man, then in his twenties, said. “I did think about it, but I didn’t do it.” I never shy away […]
Who Made You, You? At its most basic level this question could be answered with the “Universe” or “God,” but I am asking here about the central figures in your life who influenced you most, whether positively or negatively. This question is worth pondering because the individuals who most significantly impacted you are likely to […]
Self-love gets a bad rap, but it shouldn’t. Genuine, healthy self-love is simply the recognition of one’s true abilities—be they abilities related to creativity, courage, compassion or anything else. Self-love doesn’t require a runaway ego; it requires witnessing one’s own potential. A person need not even “take credit” for that potential. It simply is. It […]
It has become common to say, “That makes no sense,” in regard to people whose lives seem to be beyond understanding. Someone is at the threshold of a significant success and seems to throw it away. Someone breaks free of a stressful or traumatic relationship only to return to it, or to forge another relationship […]
I am a lover of metaphor—perhaps, to a fault. But when I came up with this one, I think I hit on something useful. Because I believe that human beings: are capable of extraordinary performance deserve extraordinary care function best when fully engaged First on the list is performance. Like the Ferrari, we humans have […]
I have worked with people optimizing their lives for the last 28 years. One of the lessons I have learned is that many people who plan to retire and relax and luxuriate in having nothing much on their schedules instead find themselves anxious and at loose ends. Some experience depressed mood and low energy and […]
Actors and actresses worry when only one type of role comes to them. Being cast again and again as a superhero or a villain can limit the roles in which others will be able to imagine them in the future. In life, we can become “typecast,” too—and very often we’re the ones who believe in […]
Okay, first of all, let me say that the title of this piece is inherently a bit deceptive. Yes, it is absolutely possible to change your life dramatically and in a positive way. In fact, constantly improving yourself, in the direction of your core beliefs, emotional truth, talents and dreams is your best defense against […]
