Always Assume You Will Encounter Increasing Resistance as You Begin to Achieve Your Goals
You might think that resistance to accomplishing goals decreases as you pursue them and start making some headway. You might imagine the first hurdles on your path as the most daunting ones. But I want to caution you not to think that resistance lessens as you achieve more or say more of what you think or participate in a change in your family, your company or your country that matters. Resistance often actually increases as you move forward.
Small minds, intent on stalling or frustrating real change or creativity, become increasingly obstructive in the face of bold momentum. Unfortunately, people who don’t know how to achieve great things often can only derive feelings of power by standing in the way of them.
Consider the metaphor of a circuit. Drive more current through the circuit and the resistance doesn’t suddenly evaporate. Just the opposite. And more heat comes off the circuit, too. The same is likely to be true as you speak your mind, pursue your success, insist on respect in relationships and demand that your rights be upheld.
Here’s the key: Rather than being disheartened by this opposition, you interpret the heightened resistance, especially to your loftiest goals, as a sign that you are truly on a road to something genuine and important. Turn the friction you feel coming from small minds into fuel for your intentions. Double down.
Think about the last minute of a Stanley Cup championship game when a team is up by one goal. Do you see the other team skating and checking the same way? No. It’s as if everyone on the team down one goal has gotten a shot of adrenaline. They see their adversaries about to win it all, and that creates a surge of countervailing force designed to stop them.
Your job is not to yield in the face of the expected increased resistance to . . . well . . . you. There’s that word, again. And that’s no accident. Because when you are acting on your real intentions and beliefs and dreams and rights, there’s no difference between those things and yourself.
That’s why, if you’ll look up, four paragraphs above this one, you’ll see the words “pursue your success.” It doesn’t just say “pursue success.” That’s because what you want to achieve, in a free country, under God, is, in fact, yours when you do achieve it.
Double down when the hurdles, hijinks and hysterics designed to stop you increase. Interpret them as evidence that you’re closer to winning the game. If you get the chance, try to put another goal on the scoreboard. You’ll never be scared onto defense and you’ll never just run the clock.
You can prove your resistance wrong. Part of the way is by expecting it to increase, as your chances of success do.
Dr. Keith Ablow
This blog was adapted from Lesson #5 in Trump Your Life, available by visiting Trump Your Life Now.